viria

Anonymous asked:

Do you think that "crying is for weakling"? I am raised in a family where crying is considered weak and immature. But I could cry anytime, even if it's from a small things. Last time, when my mom scolded meand I just started to cry. My mom refused to let me go home because she said it will make me tougher not to go home and cry. I feel dishonored, I can never feel good about myself again. Is crying really means you're weak? How can I be stronger? Sorry if it's not the first time you answer this

viria answered:

oh dear, I’m sorry:(

Personally, I think crying is a very natural and needed part of human nature, because it somehow helps to let the pain go out and make it slightly easier. I feel like it’s a very necessary part of letting a stress out, because when you just keep all of it inside it gets bigger and heavier just like a snow ball falling down a hill. And crying just sort of helps to break this ball. Obviously not as easy as that, but still.

One of our psychology teachers actually said once that men statistically live less, partly because they are taught to hide the pain to seem strong..and that it has its own consequences. Because, when you make it look not stressful to you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t actually stressed.

I think this is also the reason why you might cry even from the smallest things:( The whole I-must-not-cry probably gives you a lot of pressure, and you’re breaking down like this because it’s too much..(sorry if I am wrong, but it’s how I feel sometimes when there’s a lot of shit and I try to hold it in and then some little thing goes on and I just break down. My ex friend messed me up once and didn’t realize it, and I was sort of rolling with that trying to pretend I was fine. And then a few kids joked on me and poured some water on me from a water pistol, and I was just simply done, because it was such a little thing and even this little thing went completely wrong. And then my friend still didn’t understand the whole issue was with her, and laughed at me because she thought it was stupid to cry because of something like those children; and I wouldn’t normally, but I’ve had too much to handle already at that point so..maybe it’s similar with you, just in different situation)

So..you probably got my point now.

I really can’t agree with your parents completely. I do think that sometimes it’s better to hide what you feel when you’re on public and such, but when you’re at home..Home is supposed to comfort you in some way, right? So I can’t agree to your mother with the whole ‘you’ll get tougher’.

People get stronger because they’ve been through many different situations and handled many problems; and with each time you’re getting more and more mature with your reactions and behavior, you might simply grow out of the way you reacted before..But I don’t exactly feel how handling everything inside not letting it all go out would make you stronger. It would make you look stronger, that’s all. Who needs such strength? We all have our limits, everyone. It’s not strength when on a certain point you’ll get extremely vulnerable simply because you hold way too much inside, and you’re going to get to your own self with this. So, I think letting it go from time to time is important.

Of course I can’t change your parents’ opinions with this, or to change your situation but…I don’t know, I hope it might have helped in some way:(

Heroes don’t cry because they’re weak. They cry because they’ve been strong for too long.